Me: (Driving towards a jaywalking couple and their wee-dog)
Lilah: Mom! Slow down! Look out for the little puppy!
Me: (silent: I was driving all of 3 mph)
Lilah: I wish I had a little puppy. I wish I could have a dog.
Me: (trying to interject with a “We’ll see,” but totally ignored)
Lilah: I wish I could have a sweetie dog. Or a fish. We can’t have animals that pee in the house, can we mom? No, we can’t. Some animals don’t pee. Let’s see. Fish don’t pee…monkeys don’t pee…
Me: (silent, but eh?)
Lilah: …lions and lambs don’t pee…
Me: Lions and lambs? Really?
Lilah: Yeah, lions and lambs don’t pee…bears don’t pee…NO! No bears! I’m scared of bears. I don’t want a pet bear, okay?
Me: Got it.
Lilah: What else? Fish don’t pee…monkeys…Oh! Already said that. I don’t know what I’m saying. Mom, I’ve decided. I’ll take the fish. Good job mom!
Me: Um, thank you? I’m confused.
Lilah: That means you don’t understand. I saaaaaid: I. will. take. the. fish. Okay? Because they don’t pee. And we can’t have pee-animals in the house. You said.
Me: Ben’s pees. Can Ben be your pet?
Ben: (silent until now, let’s out a giant “ROOOOAR!” and waves his plastic-tiger-head-on-a-wand-like-thing in the air)
Lilah: NOOOO! He! Pees! NO PEE! Annnnd, he hits. Fish don’t hit. And monkeys don’t hit…and lions and lambs don’t hit…and fish…
